There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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