she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
