He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
