yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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