he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize