I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
