I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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