I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
