I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
