By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
