i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize