the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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