i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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