Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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