BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize