Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
