Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
