you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
