I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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