Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
