Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
