The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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