Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
