It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
