I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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