Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
