Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't think brook has ever known best
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
