hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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