Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize