I'll bet she douches with gravy.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
