Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
