I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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