by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
