I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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