I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
