honey bunches of taint.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
