I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
