Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
