Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wear drunk well.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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