you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
