the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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