I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
