the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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