Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
