it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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