If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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