What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
