I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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