You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
