Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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