it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
