all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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