I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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