My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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