You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
