You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
