that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
