I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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