just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
