haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
