and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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