On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize