Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize