So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
