so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
