What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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