6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize