need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize