If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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