What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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