I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm having to shit out rocks
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize