I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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