ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
