I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
