I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
