i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
