My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize