I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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